There's very little to care about in 'Unitards'

There's very little to care about in 'Unitards'

Steve Salles, Standard-Examiner movie critic - January 27th, 2012
1.5 stars

They all seem like very nice people. And they look like they’re having fun.

So how do I tell you the truth about “Unitards,” a locally produced movie, without sounding like a schoolyard bully?

A close friend suggested, “Try humor. That usually works.”

OK. Here goes.

The film is being tabbed as “High School Musical” meets “Napoleon Dynamite.” Now that’s funny. And very much not true, unless you consider a bunch of teens goofing in front of a camera high comedic art.

Oh, come on, cut ’em some slack, right? That might be possible if they were showing it on a big white sheet on the back wall of the gymnasium, but they’re not. They’re playing it at the Megaplexes, charging the same price as if you were there to see “The Iron Lady” or “Mission: Impossible.”

So, I’m pretty sure you’re going to feel ripped off — unless you went to Skyline High School, are a member of the Featherstone family, or have kids in the movie.

Basically, the story centers around three nerdy friends trying to bring unity and excitement back into their school by creating an all-men dance team as a spoof on the well-respected women’s La Nichee drill team.

It’s all in fun, I guess, but when one of the male recruits asks why he should do this, the answer is “because,” and he says “OK.” “Just because” never worked with my kids; I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t work here.

“Unitards” is senseless, silly and unsatisfying.

 

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